Happy New Year

Holidays

Those days were never good

I kept myself busy - wondering

About happy souls

The kind you saw in movies

Excitement which commercials sold

Missing from our lives, I thought

Wished to be elsewhere

Wished for lifetime’s adventure

Things turned out differently since those days

Flavour of daily life changed in so many ways

Now, I spend my holidays recalling ensuing escapades

Sensing that thrills hold no more enticements

Thinking about what is left behind

Suddenly there is longing

For the seemingly protracted years

Which don’t appear that dull anyway

A slight guilt rises from somewhere within: for rejecting the past  

Nostalgia strengthens itself; so much so I see good in the era passed

The search I had found myself in

For another life

For freedom

For my corner of world

It reveals gems hidden in the myriad events,

In stressed thoughts, pointless pursuit of normalness

In spite of such trauma I had breathed easily

Not worry about groceries or health

Love I received - I know now - was unconditional

Future – as I saw - held unbridled promise

Then material comfort was limited,

No fancy living – just plain middle-class ways

But I wish fantasies - now long gone – to come back

And I lose my way in pile of rawness, as I did then

A very Merry Christmas

It Happened Once

Passion ridden moments

Increasing intensity of interplay

Between body and mind, night and day

In a damp faraway cheap hotel -

As if heavens resided here, as if

The world was coming to an end;

Folds in the curtain, a glimpse of

Grey buildings and blue sky;

Footsteps on the narrow wooden staircase

Echoing in silence of emptiness of the affair

Reason said, ‘end is coming near – fast’

Soul disagreed, said ‘you are wrong!

When its right I know- centuries of experience!

I tell you this is it…’; Reason was unchanged,

Cast a shadow over the magic spell

That fully soaked the room

A step out in narrow orderly street

Revealed the chasm between hopes and truth

Darkness and light, aloofness and crowd;

It enhanced the solitude, the confusion within;

Soul and reason are now poles apart

An attempt at holding on to dreams

Electric touch, a kiss fills up the soul

It expands – as if it’s going to burst

Humanity ceases to exist – doubts disappear

Sweet music permeates the world

Uphill walk seems like a glide

Phone rings, reverie breaks, its reality

On the other side! ‘I said – it’s not meant to be’,

Cried out damned Reason, ‘No!’ exclaimed Soul

Looking for signs of hope and light

It was a long battle,

Longer was the reconciliation

The morning after is engraved in memory

It was victory for a part of me

There was sharp pain -

Now buried deep within

‘What’s wrong’, ask strangers

I give feeble excuses while hiding the truth

Cloaking all feelings: denial makes life livable

The scar it’s for life, so are the blissful memories

Herbie Hancock - Jazz Fusion Cantelope Island

Close up

Lost in crowd

honing photography (and social) skills