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26 December 2010

Holidays

Those days were never good
I kept myself busy - wondering
About happy souls
The kind you saw in movies

Excitement which commercials sold
Missing from our lives, I thought
Wished to be elsewhere
Wished for lifetime’s adventure

Things turned out differently since those days
Flavour of daily life changed in so many ways

Now, I spend my holidays recalling ensuing escapades
Sensing that thrills hold no more enticements

Thinking about what is left behind
Suddenly there is longing
For the seemingly protracted years
Which don’t appear that dull anyway

A slight guilt rises from somewhere within: for rejecting the past  
Nostalgia strengthens itself; so much so I see good in the era passed

The search I had found myself in
For another life
For freedom
For my corner of world

It reveals gems hidden in the myriad events,
In stressed thoughts, pointless pursuit of normalness

In spite of such trauma I had breathed easily
Not worry about groceries or health
Love I received - I know now - was unconditional
Future – as I saw - held unbridled promise

Then material comfort was limited,
No fancy living – just plain middle-class ways
But I wish fantasies - now long gone – to come back
And I lose my way in pile of rawness, as I did then