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26 December 2010


Those days were never good
I kept myself busy - wondering
About happy souls
The kind you saw in movies

Excitement which commercials sold
Missing from our lives, I thought
Wished to be elsewhere
Wished for lifetime’s adventure

Things turned out differently since those days
Flavour of daily life changed in so many ways

Now, I spend my holidays recalling ensuing escapades
Sensing that thrills hold no more enticements

Thinking about what is left behind
Suddenly there is longing
For the seemingly protracted years
Which don’t appear that dull anyway

A slight guilt rises from somewhere within: for rejecting the past  
Nostalgia strengthens itself; so much so I see good in the era passed

The search I had found myself in
For another life
For freedom
For my corner of world

It reveals gems hidden in the myriad events,
In stressed thoughts, pointless pursuit of normalness

In spite of such trauma I had breathed easily
Not worry about groceries or health
Love I received - I know now - was unconditional
Future – as I saw - held unbridled promise

Then material comfort was limited,
No fancy living – just plain middle-class ways
But I wish fantasies - now long gone – to come back
And I lose my way in pile of rawness, as I did then

24 December 2010

It Happened Once

Passion ridden moments
Increasing intensity of interplay
Between body and mind, night and day
In a damp faraway cheap hotel -
As if heavens resided here, as if
The world was coming to an end;
Folds in the curtain, a glimpse of
Grey buildings and blue sky;

Footsteps on the narrow wooden staircase
Echoing in silence of emptiness of the affair
Reason said, ‘end is coming near – fast’
Soul disagreed, said ‘you are wrong!
When its right I know- centuries of experience!
I tell you this is it…’; Reason was unchanged,
Cast a shadow over the magic spell
That fully soaked the room
A step out in narrow orderly street
Revealed the chasm between hopes and truth
Darkness and light, aloofness and crowd;
It enhanced the solitude, the confusion within;
Soul and reason are now poles apart
An attempt at holding on to dreams

Electric touch, a kiss fills up the soul
It expands – as if it’s going to burst
Humanity ceases to exist – doubts disappear
Sweet music permeates the world
Uphill walk seems like a glide
Phone rings, reverie breaks, its reality
On the other side! ‘I said – it’s not meant to be’,
Cried out damned Reason, ‘No!’ exclaimed Soul
Looking for signs of hope and light

It was a long battle,
Longer was the reconciliation
The morning after is engraved in memory
It was victory for a part of me
There was sharp pain -
Now buried deep within
‘What’s wrong’, ask strangers
I give feeble excuses while hiding the truth
Cloaking all feelings: denial makes life livable
The scar it’s for life, so are the blissful memories