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25 May 2011

Our Conversation

Was it a good bye or an onward

march to the next level?

What did we speak about, exactly?

What was the conclusion?

Should I be happy that you love me

or sad that I failed yet again?

Where is the failure, you ask?

- in the inability to hold on to the sentiment

in the confusion whether the love is appropriate

in the thought that this is yet another tragedy

Now I am stabbing myself

to remember the times when I was unhappy

all the reasons for being sad

Memories buried deep within

are brought back to life

I shut myself from the world

on the pretext of sickness of body

I immerse myself in the material world

with paperwork and legal drudgery

It's my escape from the world of feeling

It’s my path to salvation - to establish

my meagre victory; while I gape at successes

of minds, while I continue to wish for illuminating

light which will be the rationale for this existence