That day, the time we spent together, the sensation,
thoughts turned to events which seemed imminent...
it was like an intrigue gone awfully awry;
Snap to the present – my voice quivers to talk to you,
to be in the same room as you is as onerous
as sitting in an exam hall knowing I will fail.
You are like the baby parrot I had as a child:
whom I set free but she perched herself
on a tree opposite my house
chose not to fly away far
when I saw her so near my desire
to have her back grew...
like my desire of you...
Memories poke me: paved passageway,
slim ledge, bustling market place,
sitting under sunshade staring at passersby
when books in glass-walled shop invite us in
soft conversations all around, smell of new pages,
witty shopkeeper keeps us engaged
I am running through the events in my head as
I hear teary soaps running on the tube,
I see Christmas lights dancing to music –
some bulbs do not light any more -
like dreams I had of you
I look the other way: pairs of Molly and Black Widow
caught my eye - sailing through their watery tank.
I remember when I sailed through
a social gathering despite my inhibitions
I was like a princess with you by my side.
Was I trying to impress...
thinking you thought it is important?
I despair: where did string of events slip -
among people unknown and unwilling to converse?
in my fear of the power you seemed to exude?
or when I got lost in those who had me enthralled?
The mystery remains as it is
you or your presence do not help
ridiculous emotions come and go
recollections never stop their play.
honestly, i like the last 3 paras - straight from the heart! the rest - a bit dis-connected. Its like u didnt really want to bare ur soul, so u begin cautiously, not giving away much, just an attempt at stringing some words together, but gradually- u become bolder, think people will perhaps not see too much, or maybe by then u dont care anyway, and then starts the poetry!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Renuka - the 3 last paras feel the most powerful, they are naked and true, and very poignant. I loved the second para too because it felt very poignant also, the image (and its feelings) stood very clear in my mind and therefore very memorable to me. It's something I've continued thinking about.
ReplyDeleteMore than this, I love the way in which you set the scene, then cut through the chase. A bit like an expert unseen camera about to unveil something stirring. But I can also imagine your writing without the setting, with only the piercing message bared to the reader from the first line. I guess it depends on the effect you are looking for, and what you're trying to emphasise more than anything...
Please continue stirring our souls... :-)))))
i am no expert to comment on ur writing or the way u have written. but the first impression which i got was impressive/appropriate use of 'the words' - (for me, this shows your command over the language)- where i got lost and then found myself again.
ReplyDeletesome of the lines/words r awesome :) i love 'ridiculous emotions'
Poonam